Story by srOm
I very slyly poked my head around the door piece by the Hall of Records. "I gotcha's right where I wanchas!"
My brother, Ghacto, chattered with his friend, Porkon, not expecting any kind of surprises. I grinned. "Hello!" I whispered to my victim. I ran from my hiding place, screaming like a madman. "GRAAAAAAH"!
Well, I timed my battlecry a little too early. Ghacto, very calmly, took a step back and stuck his foot out. I tripped hard.
I landed face down in the ground.
Porkon and Ghacto stared at me. Then at each other. "Heh, he's STILL trying to get you, Gak?" asked Porkon, amused.
Ghacto smirked. "Yup!" He leaned toward me. "You're never goin' to get me, Shrom". I grrrd, still sprawled on the floor. NOBODY can get my name right!
I laughed to myself at the thought that some couldn't even get remotely close. So, they jest called me with-
I looked up. I was still on the floor, so my face was at a pair of red boots. I looked up some more. "Hiyas, Doodles! How are you-dles?" I cringed. Ooh, that was bad! Doodles jest laughed. "I'm fine, tenks", he lended me a helping hand. I took it and stood up.
Now note: usually with most, I have to look way up to look at others in the face. But not with Doodles. No straining my neck with this conversation, for he's the only one that I'm actually taller than!
I pulled of my hat and started searching around with my hand," I got animal krackers in here, you want su- ooh!" I turned to Ghacto and Porkon, who were still laughing at me as my hand produced a handful of crumbs. "Sure! Go right ahead! laugh and stare! I'll get you back sometime, I swear!" and Porkon answered this time with:"Yeah? Well I like pie".
Doodles smirked the whole time, "Well, I gotta go. I'll let you settle your issues" he smiled and turned to leave.
"Go? where ya goin'?" I asked, curious.
He shrugged. "Earth."
"Cool! Can I come with ya?" the question was jest a little joke, and I worded it whimsicaly. And what I got for an answer was a laugh and then a thoughtful:
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Well, you COULD. If you DID, you wouldn't be able to go beyond my house, or even my ROOM, cos, well, humans don't respond that well to klaybeings". He smiled a small, apologetic smile.
"Oh, don't worry, Doodles. I wasn't serious!" I shrugged. "Though it WOULD be cool to see what it's like". And I brightened up some more. "Can I watch you?"
Doodles shrugged. "Sure!"
"Okay!" I cheered and followed him through the explosives shack.
"Hi, Manies!" Doodles greeted and waved to the guy working on a bomb. I repeated, "Yeah, hi!"
Klenn looked up from his work, "Hey, Doo! Hey -uh- Strom!" I rolled my eyes to myself, amused. Nobody.
Out by the little tree, Doodles summoned the portal, and with a bright flash of light, there it was. a bright-coloured, lopsided, hole in the atmosphere. I quickly stuck my fingers in it and got a handful of whispy fog. Cool! Doodles grinned at my curiousity.
The suddenly, Maloon's voice came out of nowhere. "BOO! AH AHAHAAA"!
Doodles jumped from fright!
So did I, too far! I fell right throught the portal!
Going through that portal was NOT the funnest ride you could imagine. It reminded me of the time Ghacto dropped me off the bridge up-side-down while blind-folded, only this was much longer and a bit more tortuous. The only other thing that came to me was this word: "GROOOOOOOOOG"!!!!!!!!! *Splat*
I landed hard. I was inna room.
*Pt. 2: "What the-"s and double takes*
Yeah, I was okay, if not for the double vision...okay, I'm back.
Doodles appeared through the portal moments after I did. He was worried "You all right?"
"Yuh-huh" I answered when my vision cleared. "Say, nice place you got here. I was thinking Earth would look a bit more...um...queer"?
He relaxed a bit, but he still frowned "Can you wait 5 hours?"
"Um...yeah...dur, how long is 5 hours?"
Doodles didn't answer. He was changing to his human form. Strange. I'd never seen anything like it, it was like...oh...I can't explain it! Read on.
Then it was her turn to look weird at me "What the-" she exclaimed, confused.
I exchanged another look "Grog?" Then I looked at my hands. Hmmm...five fingers. Five fing- ACK! I choked on my own breath. I jumped to my feet, still looking down at myself. I was HUMAN!
I had black sandals with white and green stripes on them, loose, blue pants with rather large pockets, and a long sleeved shirt made of soft, green material. It was open in the middle and underneath was an orange T-shirt. (hey, my human form has good taste!) Was this ME?!
I looked to Doodles for an answer [Note to reader:I'll simply keep Doodles' name Doodles, easy as that, thank you] the only thing she could say was "Woah! You're HUMAN! You're ASIAN! You're an ASIAN HUMAN"! by which I didn't know what she meant.
And the only thing _I_ could say was: "Why did I-? What did I-? Did you know-? HOW!?"
"I don't know, but check yourself out in the mirror" So I did and this is what I saw: long dark hair and brown eyes. My eyes WERE dif from Doodles', but I couldn't see exactly what the dif was. I was she-male, and my glasses were still there, oddly shaped and purple, but not as thick. My hat was now a red ball cap with the word "Adidas" on it. Doodles also told me that I looked about 14, but I didn't totaly understand what looks had to do with age. On the Neverhood, looks never change by themselves simply by getting older.
What I saw in the mirror was very nice and all, but the question was this: Why the heck had I changed? As I thought about the possibilities, I began to feel sick. But after the sorta-panick-strickeness, I tried to think about the good side. (Which is a strange thing to do during a predicament like this) I smiled. "Let's go, man!" I announced in a funny voice to Doodles.
"Well, where do you usually go?"
"Um, the NEVERHOOD!" She smiled.
"No, I mean, where on Earth do you go?"
"Er, o yeah! I hang here" she shrugged.
I shrugged "Then let's go somewhere!"
She shrugged "Okay-dokay! What kind of place did you havin mind?"
I shrugged "What kinds of places are here"?
She shrugged "All kinds of places."
(This was turning into a game!)
I shrugged "Okay, lets go somewhere!" and I turned to the door and left with Doodles close behind.
I bounded down some stairs, into another room and immediately stopped. Heads turned to me. I gazed back. Doodles ran in after me, into me, and knocked me over like a dominoe. She also looked back at the three people. "Oh hi!" she said in a fake, casual voice, "My friend and I are going into town."
The lady, who looked quite older than Doodles, asked, "Who's your little friend?"
"This is-" Doodles started, stopped, and looked at me for help. I didn't understand until it hit me (ouch).
I had heard that Earth-people names and Neverhood-people names were somewhat different. _No_ one was going to believe my name was Sromgster Clippenphorfer TenNenzen (no matter how spiffy it was!) 'Uh-oh' I thought and drastically tried to think of a name. I mumbled in thought "Eeeeeeehmm... ohhhh-"
"Emmo, yeah, that's her name. Eheh, she's new here." Then to me "I forgot your name. Sowwy"! She winked at me and smiled a "Howmi doin'?"-kinda-smile.
"Uh, that's okay" I replied, playing along and grinning a "You're doin' great"-kinda-grin. Hmmm...Emmo, eh? I got back up.
The boy looked at me and smirked. "Another clay lover, I suppose?"
Doodles glared at him "Put a sock in it!" Then to me "Let's go, er...Emmo"
Once outside- "Doo? Erm...whutsa 'sock'?"
Doodles looked at me, surprised, then I could tell by the look on her face that she understood. "OOh! I have a lot of explaining to do, don't I?"
I nodded my head in agreement. "Yuh-huh."
*Pt 3: comparison*
Earth is a different place than the Neverhood! Little green things called grass stick up from the ground, and grey conkreet (sp?) is hard and rough. They still have trees, but they're big and tall and some don't have berries. Houses aren't square or attached to walls, but have points at the top and you don't push the doors open. Instead, they have little contraptions called 'Knobs' that you have to turn before you can go in (It took me quite a while to get the hang of that)
There aren't any cannons, chronicles, or wall cars. Well, there are CARS, but that's quite different. Cars are... jest too weird!
You're encased in this big, capsule-like deal made of hard, cold, coloured stuff called, I dunno, sounds something like 'meddle', with glass and it has wheels! Once inside, there are these big, comfortable seats and on the one side, theres another, smaller wheel.
Doodles sat behind this wheel, and put a key somewhere under it, and this big 'VAROOM' sound was all around me and it vibrated the car with life. Doodles told me to put on my safety-belt, which is a strap that goes over your body and into a little clickey-device. (Oh yeah, you don't open the doors with knobs, but levers) And depending on which position the wheel is in, you can make the car move any way you want. Wow! I think that's incredible. It's almost like majic, don't you think?
So, Doodles was driving me around in this car, I asked him every little thing that came to mind. "How come the sky here is blue and white and on the the Neverhood, it's black?"
Doo tried to explain it.
"Why is water here clear, and on the Neverhood, the colour of earthly sky"?
Doo tried to explain it.
"Got milk"? I smiled goofily.
I had a ton of questions, too many to write down here. I dunno, I have a feeling that I overwhelmed him. Eheh.
*Part 4: The Bombshell*
Doodles pulled over to the side of the road. "Heh. I've been driving for quite a while. I'm almost out of gas!"
I, not knowing that a car ran on gas..."Gas?"
"Oh... Never mind."
I opened the door with that...'latch' thingy, and I heard some happy whistling. I looked up and saw this bright red bird flying rather low, low enough for me to reach it, at least.
"Cool! This is like the game I played with Porkon the other day!" and I jumped for the poor bird.
"No! Strom! Don't! Earth birds aren't like Neverhood birds!"
I didn't hear Doodles. I jumped, tripped over some koncreet, not knowing what 'road curbs' were...splat. (Grog, I make a really stupid Earth-ian-istical being!) I got up and looked at Doo kinda hard. "They aren't?"
Doodles very rapidly shook her head.
I studied my hands. I had gotten some of the bird's tail feathers. "Heh, whoops." Small red drops appeared on my left middle finger. I thought that they were just from the red feathers, but they weren't.
"Eww!" said Doodles, watching me. "I don't like blood."
"It hurts!" I said in a funny voice. I laughed a little (being a bro. to Ghacto Pagamimi, you get used to a little pain.) and instinctively stuck the finger in my mouth. And I heard a voice off to the side:
"Heh. Somebody needs walking lessons" and laughter.
I looked to where the voice was coming from. Two Earth-ian-istical he-males walked by. They looked strangely familiar... One was tall and had blue and green shoes. Like... Ghacto?
I studied the other... Porkon?
Doodles looked at them too. "Hmmm..." then she laughed. "Hehheh. Tourists." We started walking. And I never saw those two again.
I probably would have if I hadn't seen the sign on the window. It caught my attention when I saw all neat, colourful thinguhmajiggers in that window. It said a bunch of "MISSING" talk and that this person was missing for about twelve years. But the picture was most intriguing. It was a she-male, pretty small. But the age progression...Pretty amazing how accurate those things can be, the dark hair in two pony-tails, the eyes...in other werds... ME! (well, except for the fact that the picture didn't have glasses or hair as long as mine.)
Doodles and I both looked at each other at the same time..."Oh plush...!" (transalation: crap...!)
"Okay, this supernatural phenomenon has gone TOO far!" I yelled. I was getting really frustrated and kinda mad at myself. First of all, turning human in the first place, it's not like I needed that. Then there was learning the ways of the human, and now THIS! I just wanted to be back in the Neverhood with all my friends, and Hoborg and grogulous wonderment of klay. All these and a hundred more thoughts, swimming around in my head, I was homesick. I looked at the "MISSING" sign again. "I think I'm gonna stay lost, Doo."
Then for another supernatural phenomenon, I felt gravity take me by the head and knock me over. I felt the coolness of the ground (with my face). Hmmm...the konkreet is smoother here. Then I heard the voice of my brother.
"WAKE UP, SUNSHINE!"
I opened my eyes a little. "Uuuhhh...grog...er. Ghacto..." Then I opened my eyes all the way. "GHACTO? GHACTO PAGAMIMI THE HOODIAN?"
He looked at me weird and crossed his arms. "Hyeah! Whatdyoo think I'd be, Ghacto Pagamimi the weasel? Did I knock something loose when I flipped ya outta your hammock?"
"OH! IT WAS ONLY A DREAM!!!" And I gave him a huge hug.
And I knew what he was thinking. It was a thought that he thinks whenever I give him a hug:
"Omiquater! Gettim offa me!" (Yup. Brotherly love! B))
I just hugged him harder. Heh! This is what you get for tripping me! I toldya I'd get ya back!
*And now...The Epilogue...*
Later, I played lots of fun games. Like the one that I attempted in the dream I had. It's where you look for klaybirds, and when you find them, jump for them and when you grab hold of one, say the craziest word that you think of. Kind of a pointless game, I know, but it's silly enough for my taste. Porkon, Ghacto and I made it up! Can't ya tell?
Oh...yeahyeah...the dream. Pretty strange. I thought about it, and I laughed soooooo hard... I bet Earth doesn't look anything like the way I dreamed!
Anyways... even later, I happened to stick my hand in my pocket that I never use and pulled out...a big red feather. I ended up sticking it in my hat (thus the origin of the feather in my hat! Whoo!). It's kinda like a reminder (Don't be so curious, stupid!) and a puzzle. I confuse myself when I think about it. I know it was a dream! But...the feather tells me it wasn't.
Sooooo...which is it? I'll let you decide.
The End! 'Bout time too! Go home. Be young. Have fun. Drink Sprite or another favoured equivalent, but NOT Coca-Cola! Last I time I drank that stuff, I got sick and was in bed for a week! And that's the truth!