Srom's Origin
Story by Sromgster



Hoborg had been thinking for a while, scritchity-scratchin' his head with his finger. He had been feeling... o what's the word, experimental? Something along that...

"Hmmm...I'll make another person today, but I usually make them in the nursery, what would happen if I threw the life seed somewhere else?" So he took his crown, and clinkety-clink, shook out a life seed. Then he got up.


The unidentifiable mass sped its way through space. Trying its best to swerve around klay stars and other stuff. The beings inside spoke amongst themselves:

"Oh...We're late for the dinner! I told you! You shoulda turned at the last intersection."

"Could you be quiet! I'm looking on the map for where in the begleeziods we are!"

"Daddy, are we there yet?"

"Maybe you shoulda asked for directions from those folks we met at the station!"

"I hafta go to the bathroom"

"O great, it had to be a nice dinner for us to be in this situation!"

"Honnee, I'm doing the best I can!!!"

And so on...


Hoborg looked at his seed as he walked, not having a bit of an idea where to put it... somewhere where he had never dropped, accidentally or not, before. He thunkity-thunk, wondered how surroundings and colours could affect his new creation.

"Hopefully not too much," Hoborg wanted his son to feel equal and at home, "just like everybody else."

Walkity-walking, down the lake steps, into the teleporters, to the Whale's mouth, through that plain...


"AAAHHH! LOOK OUT! THERE'S A PLANET IN FRONT OF YOU!"

"OH! HOLY BEGLEEZOIDS!! HANG ON"

The transporting vehicle crashity-crashed into the Neverhood. The Neverhood trembled under the impact, cos this was a pretty big vehicle.

"NO! NOT MY HAT! O darn it... Everybody okay?"

"Yeah... let's keep goin'"


*Oof* Hoborg fell flat on his face as the world shook from only Quater knows what! He droppity-dropped his seed and Hoborg...

"Heyey, dad. Wussup?" One of his sons, a bright coloured one, helped him up and brushed him off.

"Thanks, Ghacto", said Hoborg. "Did you see the seed go anywh-?"

"SAY, what's this?" Ghacto Pagamimi TenNenzen, the guy who LOVED long names, pickety-picked up a black hat with a wavy, orange stripe.

"Umm... A hat, but I don't know where it came from".

"Oh." Ghacto dramatically studied it, holding it away and then close up again. He studied the bottom by holding it hiiiigh up, lookity-looking up too.

And that's when I fell outta the hat, right on top of him! Isn't that just neat-O?

"Oh, so THAT'S where it went." thought Hoborg, "well, I got what I wanted".

Anyways, we both got up; I didn't know where the heck I was, or who these guys were. The bigger one with the crown spokity-spoke first.

"Um...Hello, my child. I am Hoborg, and..."

"Hi, Hoborg! My name is...uh...ggggg! I don't hava name! Ehyah..." I laughed a bit.

"Oh. Well, you will, and you are in the Neverhood, I hope you have a fun time living here."

I did this goofy smile. "Okay! Cool!" I pointedy-pointed to the yellow, green, and blue Neverhoodian standing next to him. "Who's this dude?"

The Neverhoodian put up his hands as though to stoppety-stop an imaginary person and he said dramatically, "I'll handle this one! I'm Ghacto Pagamimi TenNenzen, wuz 'apenin?" He held out his hand for a handshake.

I took it and shookety-shook it rapidly, and with a smirk. "Hiyas, Ghacto!"

Ghacto looked at me weird, I looked back at him the same way. We looked in each other straight in the eyes. I knew what this was, a starety-staring contest.

"Hey, you have purple eyes," he said.

"Well, so do you"

"Purple eyes?" Thought Hoborg. "Ghacto was the only one with purple eyes, until now."

"Well duh! Maybe we're supposed to be brothers"

"Well, maybe we are, what's your last name?"

"TenNenzen, maybe you will be my brother"

"Fine"

"FINE"

"FINE"! I did all I could to keep from laughing.

"FINE!!"

I stuckety-stuck my tongue way out at him. Ttthhhppppp! He backed away, 'insulted'.

With changing voice patterns, "So, a wise guy we have, see? Cool! Som'I!" He took my hat, which had incidentally landed on my head. "Sos, yous comes'rom dis?"

I cocked my head, repeating what he had said with sarcastic bewilderment. "Yous comes'rom dis...I can already tell, that's obviously Ghacto-eeze!" I laughed. I pluckety-plucked the hat back from his big fingers, and placed it back on my head. "Yous comes'rom...s'rom...srom."

So I mumbled to myself "Now, if I add a silent G and a few more letters..."

I turned to Hoborg, who was watchety-watching us and thinking, "I've never seen any two people interact like this." (How I knew that, I'll never know. What kind of narration is this anyway?)

I smiled brightly and announced, "My name is Sromgster TenNenzen!"

"You need a middle name" suggested Ghac.

"C-clip-clippenfor-Clippenphorfer. There!"

Hoborg shruggedy-shrugged "Okay. Spelled S-R-O-M-S-T-E-R?"

"No, it has a g between the M and S"

"Okay...Srom'g'ster?"

I slapped my head. "No! Silent G!" I could tell he was a bit confused. So I quickly addety-added "But you can call me Srom!" and an insurance salesmen-esque smile.


Back to the Stories!