One FwaSheep too many!
Story by Kuinevi, D1oMo7Y1999

One fine afternoon in the Neverhood, Kuinevi was standing alone by the bridge control tower in thought. He was thinking of a substance that removes unsightly body odors that would really help those who really stunk. He called it 'Anti-Stink.'

His train of thought was interrupted by Sarlakk. Sarlakk was just coming out of the empty lake by the bridge that was, at the moment, the stairs. He was only a few feet from Kuinevi.

He didn't even notice Kuinevi until he saw a familiar Byns jump right in front of him and screamed "SARLAKK!!!"

Sarlakk nearly landed off his feet. He straightened himself up and recognized Kuinevi.

"KUI!!" He screamed back.

The two gave each other a patting hug. Kuinevi placed his hand on Sarlakk's shoulder. "How are ya?" He asked, smiling.

Sarlakk leaned his head to one side, grinned and replied "Pretty good," he continued, "how about yourself?"

Kuinevi grinned back. "I'm-a fine."

Suddenly, a subject came out of Kuinevi. "You know where I'm living right now?" Kuinevi asked.

Sarlakk thought for a minute. He then asked "Uh,.. no. Where?"

Kuinevi waved over the hills and replied "Under the mushroom."

Sarlakk straightened his head. "Ah." Sarlakk said. "What if you get squished?" He asked.

Kuinevi started to rummage through his pockets, searching for something. "I found a way for me NOT to get squished:" he said, still rummaging through his pockets.

He eventually pulled from his pockets a diagram worthy of a kid's drawing. It showed a bad picture of the mushroom and propping it up was some type of balance beam. "Placed a big metal post under it." He continued, smiling.

Sarlakk took the picture from Kuinevi's hand and started to examine it. He looked at the children's drawing and asked "Well, what if someone wants to come down?"

Kuinevi beamed when he was asked this. "Easy! They can... uh....." His happiness was destroyed when he realized that he didn't think of a plan for if someone wants to come down the mushroom.

Sarlakk shook his head. "Hadn't thought about that, have you?"

Kuinevi lowered his head, discouraged "No..."

Then, his head shot straight up and smiled again. "OOH! I know!" He shouted, as if he had just discovered the secret to existence, "They could JUMP down!"

Sarlakk shook his head a second time. "That might hurt, Kui."

Kuinevi scratched his head, even more discouraged. "Oog... Use teleporter?" Kuinevi eventually asked.

Sarlakk shrugged and replied, "I don't think there's one that goes down there.."

Kuinevi needed to think of another idea. He responded with a longer "Oooog..." and eventually thought of another idea. "Use Glidey Bird?"

Sarlakk looked around, looked back at Kuinevi and folded his arms. "Where get Glidey Bird?" Sarlakk asked. "And what about Evil?" he continued, pointing his finger at the mushroom. "He LIVES in the 'shroom!"

Kuinevi jumped a few feet. "ERK!" He yipped. "Good points..." Kuinevi said, a bit confused and muddled. "Can Hoodians fly?" He asked Sarlakk.

Sarlakk shook his head another time.

Kuinevi and Sarlakk went into deep thought about the mess Kuinevi made. Five minutes later, Kuinevi lifted his head and smiled, strangely. "Well, I found an upside to this situation. The FwaSheep have a chance to thrive and multiply!"

Sarlakk gazed at Kuinevi like he had just wiped a dead klaybird on his face. "Kui...they were MADE to be squished!"

Kuinevi looked confused at Sarlakk. "I thought they were made to be wildlife." Kuinevi said, puzzled.

"Believe it or not, I just had a conversation with Doo." Sarlakk gestured. "We determined they were made to be squished."

Kuinevi's eyes widened in shock. "Ook! Me done bad?" Kuinevi said, in a small voice.

Sarlakk stood up and said, "Not bad. Just needs fixing, that's all."

Kuinevi turned to his left and noticed something over the horizon. It appeared to be some form of tsunami that was sweeping across the Neverhood. The strange thing was that the tsunami was a familiar shade of green and, even strangely enough, went 'Baah'.

Sarlakk removed his dark glasses, his eyes widened at the sight of the huge wave of sheep. "Leeeet's start by taking out that metal bar." He said quickly placing back on the glasses.

Kuinevi nodded to that.

Immediately, Sarlakk and Kuinevi had made they're way to the Mushroom. There, under it, was the huge metal post, holding up the mushroom. Sarlakk ran up to the 'shroom and started to pull. It was no use, the bar wouldn't budge.

Kuinevi was busy observing the rapidly growing size of the sheepwave when he heard Sarlakk call out to him "Kui...gimme..a hand!"

Kuinevi turned his attention to Sarlakk. He walked over to Sarlakk and pulled the bar out from under the mushroom. Sarlakk watched in awe as Kuinevi reeled his hand back and launched the steel post into deep space. Sarlakk's eyes were still widened as he asked Kuinevi "Could you teach me how to do that?"

Kuinevi shook his head. "Right now, the sheep concern us."

Sarlakk struck a dramatic pose, and rushed up the mushroom. "To the mushroom, Batman!" He said, running up to the Mushroom.

Kuinevi was about to say something along the lines of 'I do the posing around here' when Sarlakk had gone inside the mushroom and had screamed to Kuinevi "You lure them under. I'll squish!"

Kuinevi made an agreeing gesture and had ran up to the FwaSheep, screaming "Hey, sheeps! Did I ever tell you I was related to Little Bo Peep?"

All the fwasheep had turned their attention to Kuinevi and had started to chase him to the mushroom. "Maybe, this was a bad idea.." He muttered.

Sarlakk was waiting in the mushroom. Kuinevi had just appeared by the mushroom. Sarlakk had called out to Kuinevi a third time "Yell to me when you're ready!"

In an hour's time, Kuinevi had already lured a good 98% of the FwaSheep under the mushroom. They were all stacked, surprisingly, neatly under the mushroom, all 'baah'ing and such.

By the time all the sheep were stacked up under the 'shroom, Kuinevi shouted up to Sarlakk "NOW!"

Sarlakk spun the wheel as fast as he could. Kuinevi noticed it wasn't doing too much. "Faster man!" He shouted up to Sarlakk "Faster! They aren't getting any flatter!"

Sarlakk heard this and spun the wheel twice as fast as before. Eventually, the wheel was spinning so fast that it was a blur. Sarlakk didn't even NEED to spin it anymore. It was practically spinning by itself.

Suddenly, Sarlakk heard a great 'SPLAT' and the sounds of Kuinevi screaming. Sarlakk looked out of the Mushroom and saw a huge tidal wave of squashed sheep flooding out from under the mushroom. Sarlakk screamed to Kuinevi "Duck and cover!!" but, it was too late. The wave of liquidized sheep had already engulfed the entire area, including Kuinevi.

Sarlakk rushed to the edge of the cliff and shouted down to the wave, hoping to see if Kuinevi was okay. "Kui! KUUIIII!!! Speak to me!"

A few minutes later, Kuinevi's head popped out of the familiar gooey substance, with all his stuff floating in it. He waved up to Sarlakk "I'm okay!"

Sarlakk beamed. "You're alive!"

Kuinevi nodded, and observed his surroundings. He saw nothing but this green, squishy substance. Like, he was swimming in melted marshmellows. Floating in the squishy liquid was his belongings and HammerBoy doing the backstroke in the green stuff.

He picked up his belongings and threw them up to Sarlakk. All of which, he caught. Kuinevi looked around, found Prodd wading in the goo and climbed up the cliff. When he reached the top, he realized that him and Prodd were practically covered with sheep remains.

Sarlakk looked at the goo-covered Kuinevi and asked "So...whaddya wanna do, now?"

Kuinevi shook some of the goo off of his wrists and replied "Head for the nearest lake..."

Sarlakk nodded and said "Can do. Follow me."

Kuinevi and Prodd nodded back and followed Sarlakk to the lake.

Meanwhile, back in the goo, three figures emerged from it. All three that got out were FwaSheep, baahing and all. The FwaSheep waddled out of the goo onto dry land. They dried themselves off and walked away, happily baahing.


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