Kuinevi's Arrival at the Neverhood
Story by Kuinevi
For what seemed like 4 months now, my space ship was stuck on the back-end of some Comet called Pyrageorge. I got here after escaping that Evil dimension populated by those Naughties named Humans. And one hour after I escaped, my ship went KA-BAM into the side of Pyrageorge. It's very cold up here, and I don't like it.
I discovered something interesting about this comet, it seems like there was LIFE on this thingie. For attached to the comet was a chunk of land. And ON the chunk of land, was dead flowers and some form of skeleton. The skeleton seemed to belong to a form of being that had a Hoop growing out of it's head.
"Confusing.." I thought when I first layed eyes on this skeleton.
Now, I'm still STUCK on this comet with this smelly skelliton and those Dang dead flowers! Just looking at the same thing for 4 months made me sick to my stomach.
Then one day, something very facinating happened. I checked my map one fine Tuesday Morn to try and figure out where this comet was heading. And saw something that caught my eye: THE COMET WAS GOING OFF THE MAP!!!!!! It said on my map at the very edge: "Edge of world. No go. You will die!"
I hurredly rushed back to my ship and jumped inside. I tried to start the motor BUT IT WOULDN'T MOVE!
"OhnoI'mgoingtobesuckedintooblivionandthere'snochanceofmeevergoin'homeifso!!" I thought, rapidly.
Just as the motor started, it was already too late....I had gone into the Off-Map zone.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH, I WANT MY MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed in horror.
2 hours later, I looked around my surroundings and said "Hm. This isn't so bad."
The edge of oblivion seemed so... peaceful, so calm. It was actually.. good. Then, I realized that the motor for my ship was still running! My ship then blazed off the comet at blinding speed. I then turned around and screamed to the comet "HA HAAA!!! I AM THE WINNER! YOU COULDN'T KEEP ME THERE FOREVER! GOOD BYE, SMELLY SKELETON! GOODBYE DEAD FLOWERS! AND GOOD RIDDANCE PYRAGEORGE!!"
When I turned back around I noticed I was going on a collision course for a planet. The planet, strangely, was actually, from the looks of things, a flying island of some sort. Before I could figure out what this planet might be, I had already crashed on the planet.
After landing/crashing, I climbed out of my ship muttering impolite Byns words. I then looked at what I crashed next to: Some form of Blue Building next to a big, spiky tree and a large building with a large "H" embedded near the top. I decided to see if the planet I landed on WAS on the map. I pulled my little finger, and a second later the map popped out of my Thumb. I then took the map out of my thumb and examined it.
"Lessee," I said examining the map. "Floating Island....floating island....nope. Not here. Too bad."
After placing the map away in my ship, I was encountered by 4 odd beings. One of the Beings had resembled the odd skeleton I found on Pyrageorge, except with three spikes on it's back and was nose-less. It also had strangely shaped teeth and yellow skin. The other being resembled the Hoop-Head except had brown fingers, no crooked teeth, a button on its chest, blue eyes, red shirt and shoes and brown shorts.. The other being was tall, had 2 stems growing out of his head, a red button on his chest, blue shoes and elbow pads, red shorts and shirt, a blue headband and belt and white skin. The Fourth and final being was quite possibly the strangest. It had a dark green head, 2 pointed teeth on the sides of it's mouth, one yellow eye with a purple pupil and the opposite for the other eye, it had a deflated hoop, light green arms and shorts, blue fingers on one hand, red fingers on the other, one yellow leg, one orange leg, purple feet and a purple shirt with 4 dials on it's chest. I looked at them all with a strange look.
Then, the green one said to me "Are you a good monster or a bad monster?"
I looked at the green one and said "Monster? I am no Monster. I am Prince Kuinevi Mautejj of the planet Borp."
The green one blinked and replied to me "I like cheese."
I stared at the green one, turned to the Blue-Eyed Hoopie and said "Is he alright?"
"Oh yeah." Replied the Blue-Eyed one."In fact, he's more normal than anyone else here."
I looked at the Green one and said "Hm.. Thats normal? I see.."
The tall one said "Well, nice to meet you Mr. Mautejj."
He then shook my hand rigorously.
"Please." I said "call me Kuinevi."
The tall being smiled at me and said "My name's Tramen."
I smiled back at him and said "Pleasure to meet you, Tramen."
The Blue Eyed hoopie smiled at me and said "I'm Doodles."
I looked at Doodles and said "Such a nice name.."
The other Hoopie said "Me Willie. Me Willie Trombone."
I looked at him and said silently "There's a joke in there, somewhere....."
The green one looked up at me, smiled and said "Me KookedKlay"
I gave KookedKlay a strange look and said "Kooked-Klayy? Um...Thats a nice name too..."
KookedKlay smiled at me. Tramen went and took a look at my ship.
"Hmm.." He said, examining my space ship made of Wood and rocks. "Hey, Kuinevi. How'd you get this to fly?"
I looked at Tramen a said "I attached rockets to it. Little ones. On the side?"
Tramen noticed the rockets on the side of my ship and said "Oh yeah."
"Then I put in this motor and a switch to activate it every time I wanna get off a planet" I said back to Tramen.
I looked at Doodles and said to her "Say, uh, what planet am I on?"
Doodles blinked and said "This is the Neverhood. A place made by Hoborg."
My mind froze at that name: Hoborg. "One of the creators of my planet?!?!? Where is he? I must meet him!!" I screamed.
KookedKlay and Doodles stood back after I screamed. Doodles approached me and said "I'll take you to Ho-dadday."
KookedKlay looked at me and said "Me too."
My reaction was "We're off to see the Hoborg! The wonderful Hoborg of....HERE!"
An hour later, we approached Hoborg's castle. As I was brought towards the Great one, my brain froze.
Hoborg looked at Doodles, Kooked and I and said "Oh, what do we have here?"
Doodles ran up to Hoborg, hugged him and said "Its a Kuinevi, Ho-dad! Can we keep him?" Hoborg looked at me and said "Hey, man. Aren't you a Byns?"
My mind stopped and I said in a small voice "Uh...well....uh...yes, lord H-Hoborg...creator of a-a-alll.....life...."
Hoborg went up to me, patted me on the shoulder and said "I'm not gonna bite you, Kuinevi. I'm not like that. Now, why aren't you on Borp fighting Nasties?"
I told him my entire story, my take off, my Human encounter, Pyrageorge, everything.
He scratched his chin and said "Hmm....Well, how long do you wanna stay here for, K? And believe me, you can stay as long as you want."
Doodles looked to me and said "It your decision."
I thought for a while..'As long as I want, huh?' I thought 'I dunno if I wanna go back to Borp....'
I looked at Hoborg and said "Lord Hoborg, consider me an honorary Hoodian!"
Doodles beamed and said "YAYYY! Another friend!" KookedKlay did the same.
Hoborg said to me before I left "Oh, by the way, if you need a home, gimmee a call."
looked to him, smiled and replied. "Thats ok. Actually, I might consider becoming a Nomad. Y'know, venturin' around the hood and stayin' in a certain place fer a while and then moving on?"
Doodles smiled at me and said "Adventerous. I like it."
I smiled back and we exited the castle. Leaving Hoborgs castle, I encountered some small, greenish blob of some sort. Whenever the little blob-thing spoke, it went "Baaah."
I gave the blob-thing a strange look. Doodles kneeled down next to it and said "It's a FwaSheep. Ho-dadday made 'em. They're very cute, doncha think?"
I looked down at the FwaSheep, smirked, and kneeled down next to it. I petted the FwaSheep on the head and said "Hello there, little FwaSheep, Creation of Hoborg the great, wildlife of the world the Large-Hearted one has made, little green blob of hop-" Before I could finish, the FwaSheep suddenly BIT my finger. Oh, the insanity! I let out an un-worldy scream as the Sheep bit me.
I recoiled, clutching my finger. I gazed, evilly at the Sheep and screamed "You little MUTANT! I'm gonna eat you alive!!!" I lunged at the sheep, and before I got a chance to land on it, Doodles tackled me and let the Little Blob run away.
"When I get my hands on that Blob," I bellowed "I'm gonna grind 'im into powder!" KookedKlay was standing at a distance, blinking. He then ran up to me and slapped me upside the head! I regained my good sense and looked to KookedKlay.
"Hey, thanks man. I needed that." I said panting. Later that evening, KookedKlay, Doodles and I were all looking at the sky. Doodles had out a small stick-like thing and some paper and was either writing something down or drawing something. Doodles then held up what she was working on and showed me a picture of me sitting. It was an incredible drawing! This Doodles was a talented artist. I paused and looked at the picture of me. I gazed at the picture of me in wonder.
"Thats amazing!" I said "You have great potential, Doodles."
KookedKlay gazed at the picture and said "I can draw too!"
He then took out the stick thing, and started drawing on a piece of paper. Seconds later, he was finished.
"There we go." KookedKlay said, triumphantly. He then passed me the paper. I looked at the paper, and blinked. This wasn't a picture of me. But twas a triangle!
"Uh, pardon me Kooked. But I believe that you drew a triangle and not a me."
KookedKlay lowered his head, dissapointedly and said in a small voice. "D'oh." I put my arm around KookedKlay's shoulder and said.
"Thats ok. It's..uh...a very nice triangle."
The happiness in KookedKlay's eyes began to come back as he said "Ok."
I removed my arm from KookedKlay's shoulder and began to look at the sky.
"Hey, look!" Doodles shouted in amazement. She then pointed at the sky and said "A moon!"
I looked up at the sky hurriedly. 'A moon!' I thought. 'I haven't seen a moon since...' I stopped. An odd feeling began to come over me as I gazed at the moon. I instantly grabbed my stomach, screaming. I fell to my knees and noticed that I was both shrinking and transforming.
"AGH!" I yelled "What's....happening, man?"
Both KookedKlay's and Doodles' eyes bulged as I mutated into some monstrosity. I closed my eyes. And could not see for 2 minutes. When I opened my eyes, Doodles and KookedKlay were both looking at me in astonishment.
"Whoa," KookedKlay said "that was good. How'd you do that?"
I lifted my head and said "How'd I do what?"
I looked at myself, I had become something, I couldn't tell what. "Get me a mirror..." I said, looking at myself.
Doodles ran off for a minute and returned with a mirror. She held it up to me. I looked at what I had become. I had.... changed into one of those Blob things that bit me!
"ACK!" I screamed "I'm a freak o' Nature!!"
KookedKlay looked at me and said "Well thats pretty baa-" I lifted my arm/leg and said to him "Finish that sheep joke and when I turn back I'll ram your head through the floor..."
KookedKlay stopped talking.
Doodles looked at me and said "Wait here! I'll find a cure for WereFwaSheepness."
I turned to Doodles and said "Actually, being a sheep ain't that bad. I can run around, eat klay-dirt, poop in public and not get in trouble aaaaaaaaaand I can get to that teleporter in the lakewall without using the Bobby Machine."
Doodles just blinked and said "Otay, it's your decision.."
That morning I changed back to my abnormal self, stood up and walked off into the sunset, searching for a place to stay...For a month or so, of course...