The Ultimate Hoodian
Story by Klaysan, D27M1oY1999

Well, after I woke up in that room in the nursery, I thought I knew everything about myself, unfortunately I didnít. You see, after I pushed all the buttons, pulled all the ropes, squished all the Fwasheep I could, played with the cannon, and after I... Well, you get the picture, Hoborg started making me do training in this secret training room of his everyday, well, he didnít make me do it, because I liked it, it was fun. But it wasnít any ordinary training, it was weird, he made me use weapons, and trained me how to fight!

Well, one day while I was playing basketball in the 'hood, Hoborg called on me, he said he wanted to have a private meeting with me, I wondered why it was private, I mean, Hoborg always has his meetings with everyone in the 'hood. Anyway I followed Hoborg into his room, he told me to sit down and listen, so I did.

Then he said, "Son, I think you are probably wondering why you are required to train every day", then I said, "Yes father, I am, sure I like it, it's really fun, but I would still want to know why I have to do it, how come Iím the only one who does it?", then he says "You see son, you are a special hoodian, not just any hoodian, you are the most strongest, smartest, and the most bravest of all hoodians, maybe you have not noticed yet but you are, all the other hoodians noticed it. Why, it took me twentythree seeds to make you, Klaysan!", so then I asked, "So that is why I am so big", so he says "And I made you that way for a purpose, Klaysan, you see, after your brother Klaymen saved this 'hood, it wasnít the only world that needed to be saved, there were others, lots more others. I would have asked Klaymen to do it, but he... Well, I guess you can say he retired", so then I said, "But, father, why did you not tell me that before. All this time you have trained me for this?" then he replies, "Yes, Klaysan, you were made to be The Ultimate Hoodian, I made you after my brothers started complaining about their worlds being in chaos, my world, The Neverhood, is the only one thatís not, so it was all up to me, and I did the only thing I can do, I took my best twentythree seeds, put them together and made you... YOU Klaysan, you are our only hope, you have to go through Quaterís universe to save all these worlds."

I was really nervous, I mean, everyone in Quaterís universe was depending on ME, I mean, I thought I was just a simple hoodian, who lives in a simple house, and has a simple life, and now it turns out the future of this universe depends on ME. Hoborg said that he even has everything ready for me, even a ship, a ship, can you believe that, he took me to his secret lab, and showed me that ship and said, "There it is, Klaysan, just look at it, is not beautiful, it took me four years to build it, it is the best ship you can ever find anywhere."

Now I was really nervous, everything was happening so fast, I mean one day Iím in my house shooting hoops, and the next thing I know, Hoborg has a ship thatís ready to pick me up so I can save the universe! Well, I did the only thing I could do, I hopped in to explore it, but I never rode a ship before, how do I make it work I asked Hoborg and he said "That is why you are also the smartest hoodian, Klaysan, now go, and make me proud", and then the door closed.

Until this day, I am travelling all around Quaterís universe, saving chunks of klay/planets (whatever you want to call them). As you read this story right now, I am out fighting the bad guys, and thatís how I became... THE ULTIMATE HOODIAN, a terminator designed to destroy... The bad guys that is. But I still come to visit The Neverhood if I have time every once in a while.


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