The NeverhoOd: Hall of Records
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Quater made Homen and gave him two crowns and let him decide what to do with the extra one. Homen had a son named Pinto Bunyan to whom he immediately gave his second crown. Pinto Bunyan helped Homen with all that he did.
Homen made a bunch of beings called Ynts. The Ynts were blue and looked like little bugs. The Blue Ynts spent their first day of existence fashioning small spears. Soon the Ynts had broken up into small communities. Each community had a specific task to accomplish which helped all of the other Ynt communities. Blue Ynt South was in charge of growing food. Blue Ynt North built housing for other communities, and so on and so forth.
All was peaceful and working efficiently, so Pinto Bunyan made some Ynts of his own - only his were white.
Now it came about, when the White Ynts began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of the Blue Ynts saw that the daughters of the White Ynts were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose. The Hutza Mutza were in the world in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of Blue Ynts came into the daughters of White Ynts, and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty Ynts who were of old, Ynts of renown. The White Ynts instantly mingled with the Blue Ynts but they refused to acknowledge the community system of the Blue Ynts. The White Ynts enjoyed the fruits of all the Blue Ynts' hard work, but did not help them work at all. It only took one White Ynt to throw an egg at a Blue Ynt one morning to cause a dreadful feud.
So Hemhemhema, of the Blue Ynts, rose with all the Blue Ynts of war to go up to White Ynt East; and Hemhemhema chose 30,000 Blue Ynts, valiant warriors, and sent them out at night. And he commanded them, saying, "See, you are going to ambush the city from behind it. Do not go very far from the city, but all of you be ready. Then I and all the Blue Ynts who are with me will approach the city. And it will come about when they come out to meet us as at the first, that we will flee before them. And they will come out after us until we have drawn them away from the city, for they will say, 'They are fleeing before us as at the first.' So we will flee before them. And you shall rise from your ambush and take possession of the city. Then it will be when you have seized the city, that you shall set the city on fire. See I have commanded you." Most of those Ynts of war in attendance could not understand Hemhemhema for the language he used was flowery and outdated. Still, few in attendance there from among all of those in attendance did harken and understand. Even did they reckon the sayings of Hemhemhema. And straight-away did they clue-in their buddies who were just lollygagging about, scratching their heads. At once all who heard this explanation did understand Hemhemhema's plan, so Hemhemhema sent them away, and they went to the place of ambush and remained between White Ynt West and White Ynt East, and the west side of White Ynt East; but Hemhemhema spent that night at the Wagon Leisure Inn.
Now Hemhemhema rose early in the morning and mustered the Blue Ynts, and he went up with the elders of Blue Ynt before the Blue Ynts to White Ynt East. Then all the Blue Ynts of war who were with him went up and drew near and arrived in front of the city, and camped on the north side of White Ynt East. Now there was a valley between him and White Ynt East. And he took about 5,000 Blue Ynts and set them in ambush between White Ynt West and White Ynt East, on the west side of the city. So they stationed the Blue Ynts, all the army that was on the north side of the city, and its rear guard on the west side of the city, and Hemhemhema spent that night in Sid's "Garden Spot" Lodge. And it came about when the king of White Ynt East saw it, that the men of the city hurried and rose up early and went out to meet the Blue Ynts in battle, he and all his people at the appointed place before the desert plain. But he did not know that there was an ambush against him behind the city. And Hemhemhema and all the Blue Ynts pretended to be beaten before them, and fled by the way of the wilderness. And all the people who were in the city were called together to pursue them, and they pursued Hemhemhema, and were drawn away from the city. So not an Ynt was left in White Ynt East or White Ynt West who had not gone out after Blue Ynts and they left the city unguarded and pursued Blue Ynts.
Then Homen said to Hemhemhema, "Stretch out the spear that is in your hand toward White Ynt East, for I will give it into your hand." So Hemhemhema stretched out the spear that was in his hand toward the city. And the men in ambush rose quickly from their place, and when he had stretched out his hand, they ran and entered the city and captured it; and they quickly set the city on fire. When the men of White Ynt East turned back and looked, behold, the smoke of the city ascended to the sky, and they had no place to flee this way or that, for the people who had been fleeing to the wilderness turned against the persuers. When Hemhemhema and all Blue Ynts saw that the men in ambush had captured the city and that the smoke of the city ascended, they turned back and slew the men of White Ynt East. And the others came out from their city to encounter them, so that they were trapped in the midst of Blue Ynts, some on this side and some on that side; and they slew them until no one was left of those who survived or escaped. But they took alive the king of White Ynt East and brought him to Hemhemhema.
Now it came about when the Blue Ynts had finished killing all the inhabitants of White Ynt East in the field in the wilderness where they persued them, and all of them were fallen by the spear until they were destroyed, then all the Blue Ynts returned to White Ynt East and struck it with the spear. And all who fell that day, both male and female, were 12,000 (all the people of White Ynt East). For Hemhemhema did not withdraw his hand with which he stretched out the spear until he had utterly destroyed all the inhabitants of White Ynt East. So Hemhemhema burned White Ynt East and made it a heap forever, a desolation until this day. And he hanged the king of White Ynt East on a tree until evening and at sunset. Hemhemhema gave a command and they took his body down from the tree, and threw it at the entrance of the city gate and raised over it a great heap of stones that stands to this day.
So Itchigoplasty and all the White Ynts who were with him arose by night and lay in wait against Blue Ynt South in four companies. Now Pimento Loofa the son of Texadrill went out and stood in the entrance of the city gate, and said, "Who is Itchigoplasty that we should serve him?"; and Itchigoplasty and the White Ynts who were with him arose from the ambush. And when Pimento Loofa, of the Blue Ynts, saw the White Ynts, he said to Factotron, "Look, Ynts are coming down from the tops of the mountains." But Factotron said to him, "You are seeing the shadow of the mountains as if they were Ynts." And Pimento Loofa spoke again and said, "Behold, Ynts are coming down from the highest part of the land, and one company comes by the way of the Diviners' Sandwich." Then Factotron said to him, "Where is your boasting now with which you said, 'Who is Itchigoplasty that we should serve him?' Are these not the White Ynts whom you despised? Go out now and fight with them!" So Pimento Loofa went out before the leaders of Blue Ynt South and fought with Itchigoplasty. And Itchigoplasty chased him and he fled before him; and many fell wounded at the entrance of the gate. Then Itchigoplasty remained at Blue Ynt West, but Factotron drove out Pimento Loofa and his relatives so that they could not remain in Blue Ynt South.
Now it came about the next day, that Blue Ynts went out to the field, and it was told to Itchigoplasty. So he took his White Ynts and devided them into three companies, and lay in wait in the field; when he looked and saw the Ynts coming out from the city, he arose against them and slew them. Then Itchigoplasty and the company who was with him dashed forward and stood in the entrance of the city gate; the other two companies then dashed against all who were in the field and slew them. And Itchigoplasty fought against the city all that day, and he captured the city and killed the Blue Ynts who were in it; then he razed the city and sowed it with salt.
When all the leaders of the tower of Blue Ynt South heard of it, they entered the inner chamber of the temple of Holmarrk (or "The Door"). And it was told to Itchigoplasty that all the leaders of the tower of Blue Ynt South were gathered together. So Itchigoplasty went up to Mount Chlorescent; he and all the Ynts who were with him, and Itchigoplasty took an ax in his hand and cut down a branch from the trees, and lifted it and laid it on his shoulder. Then he said to the Ynts who were with him, "What you have seen me do, hurry and do likewise." And all the Ynts also cut down each one his branch and followed Itchigoplasty, and put them on the inner chamber and set the inner chamber on fire over those inside, so that all the men of the tower of Blue Ynt South also died, about a thousand men and women.
Then Itchigoplasty went to Blue Ynt Southwest and he camped against Blue Ynt Southwest and captured it. But there was a strong tower in the center of the city, and all the men and women with all the leaders of the city fled there and shut themselves in, and they went up on the roof of the tower. So Itchigoplasty came to the tower and fought against it, and approached the entrance of the tower to burn it with fire. But a certain female Ynt threw a 16 ton weight on Itchigoplasty's head, crushing his skull. Then he called quickly to a young Ynt, his armor bearer, and said to him, "Draw your spear and kill me, lest it be said of me, 'A female Ynt slew him!' So the young Ynt pierced him through and he died. And when the White Ynts saw that Itchigoplasty was dead, each departed to his home.
When the Blue Ynts and the White Ynts started to fight, so did Pinto Bunyan and Homen.
Quater stepped-in, and took Pinto Bunyan's crown away and gave it to a new being he made called Arven.